Let Me Dream
by Insane Anime Fan 101
Summary: Alfred gets shot and Ivan has to re-live all of those painful memories... Character death, mentioned violence, human names used, implied yaoi. Better than the summary! I promise. I suck at summaries...


It was over. It was over before it began. It was over before he was shot; it was over before we fell in love. It was destiny that it was over.

"_Ivan! I can do it! I'm the hero, remember? Heroes never fail!" he said proudly._

"_Then at least let me come with you!" I almost begged._

"_No, bro. I care for you too much. You could get hurt, leave it to the hero!" he said as he ran into the building, not listening to another word._

As I watch him now, I know that he's alright. I know that he can go.

_A shot could be heard from miles away, it was so loud. My heart broke the moment I heard it. I knew that loud sound couldn't have come from his guns… he must have been shot. I stayed back, frozen to the core. The paramedics raced in, it wasn't long before they were carting him out._

My voice choked up in my throat and tears welled up in my red eyes. The first tears that I had cried in years.

_It was at the hospital when I saw him next, he had just barely stabilized. The doctors said that his health could slip at any time. I walked right in and stood right over him. His gorgeous eyes opened wearily, he was obviously exhausted._

"_Hey, Ivan. Dude." He strained to say._

_We talked for a little while, and then he got tired. _

"_Ivan, dude. I'm super tired right now. Let me sleep."_

_So, I left him for the night. I visited him every day after that._

I choke on my sobs, seeing his beautiful face and knowing that it will never once regain its gorgeous shade.

_After a week, his health slipped. Something went wrong. I asked the doctor what happened._

_After a long speech to me, the doctor finally said that although he was alive, he couldn't breathe or eat on his own. He wouldn't even know that I would be here by him. He couldn't think straight ever again. But I couldn't see him right now, visiting hours were over._

His eyes that will never again open.

_So, later that night, I snuck into the hospital. I walked in like always… I sat on the edge of his bed, and I whispered how much I love him into his ear. He didn't say anything, to be expected, but I know that he heard me. I kissed his warm forehead one last time, and then I flipped open the panel and I turned his life-support off._

His cheeks that would never again turn pink out of embarrassment or illness.

_I pulled off all the wires and hoses and I grabbed his small body. I carried him out and drove him out to the ocean, where I gently carried him onto my boat. I drove him out to sea, the calm tides were nice, but they were freezing cold. I stopped far off from shore, and looked into the icy-blue waters. _

I walk over to him and lean down, looking at him. I pull out a small, black, velvet box and grab his hand. I open it and slide a small, gold ring onto his finger. It's too late now; it's too late to ask him to marry me now. I missed my chance, but that doesn't mean that he can't see that from heaven. I kiss his cheek and pick up his body, holding it over the gentle waves.

The way his hair flows is so beautiful, and in the glow of the moonlight he almost looks like he's sleeping. His pale face is lacking the warmth it usually has and his eyelids are closed, never to open again. I breathe in slowly and gently lower his body into the water, knowing that this is the last time that I will ever see him again.

The cool water stings my skin, but I don't care. My tears mix with the salty ocean as I watch his body slowly sink. A normal human would float, but since he is a country, his body is weighed down by wars and lies.

"Goodbye, my beloved. You can go now." I whisper as the body sinks deeper and deeper into the chilling water. I must be seeing things, because, for a moment, it almost looks like he smiles back at me. I feel my heart grow a little lighter as the body disappears from my sight. The twinkling of the gold ring that I gave him finally disappears into the darkness. He's gone now.

I close my eyes and imagine that it's different. That maybe I will wake up from this nightmare and he will be beside me again. But this isn't some nightmare, and on the nights that I do wake up and reach for him… he's not there. He'll never be there.

I sometimes dream that we're married, that we have a life together, and that we're happy. On those nights, I pray that I don't ever wake up to face reality.

I look up and I whisper to the sky, "Please, just for a little longer. Let me dream."


End file.
